I know I may have something wrong with my brain, something that makes me a psycho or make that word fits me! It’s not easy to happen or most likely to be happening, but I think it’s due to these bad genes I got, but what can I say, I am a serenity weak person, never safe never home feeling and never satisfied, as if having everything you ever get to wish isn’t enough, and still I don’t get to want materials, since I get them all, nor do I seek peace, coz I run to any place where disscomfortment and ache lye and make the sun that worms me.
Japanese Geisha
I just wonder what have my ancient soul make so I get to live in this century, does the Japanese Geisha I once was hurt someone, or broke a house where the wife wished to be me, the night wife. Or was I a duke walker through all the nights, making my money by trying to be a better moaner than his wife. After all one soul of mine didn’t seem to have lived satisfyingly other than this life I am passing it seems there comes my Ancient Greek soul, the one that suffered from wisdom and love, maybe due to that life my other partners seemed to live in a semi Nobel life, as not for my life, this life, the one that I seem to be hit on the head and walking like a maniac on these streets, hoping I could have my fully living life without the PMS and the stupid womanish pain!
My lust seemed to have got satisfaction
My lust seemed to have got satisfaction from the old days, where now I no longer think of anything but the old lives I once lived, and hoping my reasonable me get to retain my cover well, it’s the curse of rich families I guess, for if I looked insane nth but the psycho hospital to be locked up in that, nor does living it to the fully as the true me would actually work.
And then I come to meet my street wondering schizophrenic friend and we get to share the most amazing talk together, running and laughing knowing no one would ever get the reason of us being together nor do we, but somehow of him being off pills and me being naturally bipolar I get to somehow see the other part that no one can see, I got to look for what is behind nature and what is behind us living here, maybe I am just a stupid young girl with the aim of publishing my diaries to the world and be one of those silly writers who get attention due to the way they lived!
But how did I live? Rich and satisfied in all needs, being in top if a class always, moving to a gifted student school where I got to see how normal I was, and developing my darker side, or actually make it awake, does the fact that I care much more for passion and fancy restaurants and all these type of dating to see who is the Future Mr. Sufferer Along would be, while my actual heart doesn’t even beat, and it shows and echo sound that you get to hear to that person I once meet, that person that remained me I forgot about the life span I may have lived in France, the life where I wondered to meet my painter, but I didn’t seem to find him, did I actually live it? Or it’s just a missing one I am trying to fulfill by living in this century, where the art is how much you can show from a body in a fashion wear! No one seems to get the oil, the old piece of cloth that you draw on it, where I get to be pictured in someone’s mind and for each cell of my body focused on that painting.
Would the gods be mad at me now? Will I get to the place named hell? Does it get to be lived if I haven’t done any of the sins that seem to be changing from life span to another, from 10years to other 10years the rules change, the people change ideas, and the idea of heaven remains the same where the idea of hell gets to be changing, maybe it is due to the idea of it not being there, and we get to go back to dust, or as for me, you get to live again in each century in each life span till you have lived them all. No more of wondering where we get to wait, they just have discovered a new galaxy resembling ours, maybe there where the souls stops to wait, and fallow their path to the new destiny, the one they set, the one standing on that Olympus ruled by a bunch of gods, looking at the missed up lives these hungry souls would do.
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